Tag Archives: shyness

Pre-National Nerves

Well, a week from today I’ll be heading to Orlando for my very first Nationals Conference. I’m feeling equal parts excitement and trepidation.

Excitement because I can’t wait to take some of these workshops. I suppose being in college as long as I was, I have no problem sitting for long periods of time absorbing information. As long as it’s something I want to absorb, that is. Put numbers on a board or start talking about adding and I’m going to zone out. Yeah, pretty sure that won’t be a problem at Nationals, but who knows?

I’m also excited because I’ll be surrounded by my kind of people: writers, more specifically, romance writers. It’ll be fun to listen to what kind of conversations go on. I missed out on the chance to get an appointment with agents and editors, and I had thought about doing a little friendly stalking, but I’ve decided not to. Not only do I not have new material ready for pitching, but I’m kind of at the point where I realize my Veil series is probably a dead horse. And that’s okay. I think I’ll be taking some elements from it and working on another idea. Besides that though, not pitching to agents and editors means I don’t have to be nervous and go through the I’m-gonna-be-sick-please-don’t-let-me-puke-on-the-nice-editor/agent pre-pitch jitters. This is a good thing.

Now on to the trepidation I feel. I’m a shy person. Are you shocked? You have to be considering how much bull I talk here, but I’m…antisocial. Remember the Grumpy McGrumperton post? Well, that sort of extends to things beyond the phone. It isn’t that I don’t like visiting with people, but I never know what to say. That’s when I revert to a defensive position: sarcastically witty (if I do say so myself). I realized this when I had to take two consultants on a tour of our facilities last week. I made little remarks the entire day and they chuckled, but I think they were wondering what the hell was wrong with me.

I’m hoping this won’t be a problem because I imagine a lot of writers are like that. I hope? I was talking to my BFF yesterday and said I sure hope people talk to me. I’m going alone. I don’t know anyone from personal meetings, everything’s been on-line (and I’m not saying this to make people feel sorry for me, it’s just a fact). So she said OMG, that would suck if you didn’t have anyone to talk to! Better bring your computer. Which I am anyway because I have to be able to update for my peeps!

It’s scary, almost like finals for school (which I still have nightmares about). You know, the dream where you have a final for a class you’ve never been to and aren’t even sure where it’s located and your entire life hinges on passing? You don’t have that dream? Oh. Must just be me. Anyway, that’s how nervous I am, but I’m slowly growing comfortable with the idea. I just keep remembering that the people I’ve met through RWA, FF&P, and various other groups are…well, people too. They might be just as nervous as me! In which case, we’ll all clump together like sheep and baa once in a while.

How about you? If you’re going to Nationals, are you nervous? Do you want to be my friend? Check yes or no…Bwahahaha. Sorry. Ahem. It’ll be cool.

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