Has anyone seen a new show called Duck Dynasty? I kept seeing the previews for it while watching Swamp People and it looked hilarious but I always missed it.
Well, I saw it last night and trust me, you don’t want to try to do anything else while you’re watching it. My usual habit is to read and keep half my attention on the television. Most of the time I listen to music, but sometimes I’ll put on my favorite shows (mostly reruns) and let them be my back background music. Last night trying to read while watching Duck Dynasty proved to be impossible.
Several times I had to stop, but my Kindle down and laugh. Yes, it was that insane. The premise of the show is about this family in north Louisiana (I’ll explain the importance of that later) that’s made their duck call making business a multi-million dollar operation. The problem is the family isn’t what you’d call country club material. Which I happen to love, by the way.
The episode I saw was about the CEO and his cousin, I think, playing golf when they should’ve been at career day for their kids. They sent their fathers instead and that’s where the “OMG, They did NOT!” took place for me. Why? Because one father was telling fourth graders about the Vietnam War while the other dad gave an eighth grade class a demonstration on how to dress a live duck. By dress, I mean prepare it for eating from the feathers down. Yeah, there was blood and crunching bones and…yeah, can you see yourself in your eighth grade class watching that?
Hell, I remember m biology class in tenth grade. We had to dissect a crawfish, but mine wasn’t dead. It was horrible. I ended up sitting on the floor with my arms wrapped around the leg of the lab table and rocking. Seriously. My teacher was disgusted with me. *shudders*
So yeah, I was cracking up. Dying, y’all. Then the cousin who went play golf returned to the course after hours because he saw a pond filled with frogs. He brought three of his relatives (his dad of the Vietnam stories, his uncle of the duck dressing skills, and someone else) and they proceeded to catch frogs for eating. I had to stop watching when the country club security people arrived.
Lord help me, I was dying. These people are nuts. They really are. But the thing is, I can totally see my family behaving the exact same way except without the duck dressing skills and Vietnam stories. No, there’d be lessons on how to fillet a fish, how to dress a deer, how to curse at your brother when you’re trying to put up a porch. You know, normal stuff.
And I made a point about them being from north Louisiana because in my part of the world we consider people who live north of I-10 to be northerners, yankees even. Everything south of I-10 is cool. We know we can probably trust the restaurants we go into know how to make a proper gumbo, or fried seafood. North of I-10? Eh, we don’t take the chance.
So have you seen Duck Dynasty? Do you think you might want to see it now?