Men In Review

Yup, it’s about that time again.

First off, it’s Friday. Woot, woot. But not only that, it’s the Friday before RT. *runs around screaming* I need to pack, I need to get my hair done, my nails done, buy things for the trip, print out my itenerary, make sure I have deodorant…Eeeee!

What? I’m not allowed to be excited? Let me just say now that if I don’t return from Kansas City, it’s quite possible I’m in jail and am too afraid of my mom to call home. I wonder if they’d let me blog from behind bars. Nah, it won’t be that bad. I’ll be with Lea and Cassandra. They won’t let me get in too much trouble. Right? I’m sure one of them will keep me leashed.

Anyway, because I’m too distracted by upcoming plans to pack and getting ready for hair appointments and stuff, I’m going to do a review today and a review next week. What am I reviewing? The men who’ve visited this blog since the beginning of the year. I think. I might have enough Friday’s for that. *starts counting* I might have to turn this into a three-week review. Hm, we’ll see. But, I’m hoping once I’m at RT, I’ll be able to schmooze the cover models at the party for interviews. Trust me, I’ll bring my mojo to RT.

So without further ado…

Caveman David:

Oh David…I can’t even begin to count how many conversations have revolved around you. And do you blame anyone? Not only is David beautiful physically, he’s a great guy.

This was perhaps my favorite part of the interview with him:

Danica: Have you ever read one of the books you’ve modeled for?
David: I’ve only read one romance novel when I was 13 and it taught me a lot about sex and woman, haha. But not yet a romance novel that I have modeled for. I’m sure it would make me blush.
Danica: It would only be fair since he made me blush too.

Awww. If he weren’t so impossibly handsome, I’d be tempted to pinch his cheeks for being so cute. Um, I’m not talking about the lower cheeks, y’all. Honest!

LaBare’s Kelii:

Kelii was recommended to me by Caveman and author, Justin and I’m pretty sure I owe him a drink or a hug of appreciation. Kelii was a great interview, very fun and okay, he made me blush a few times.

Danica: What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done as a model/dancer?
Kelii: I did an office party and it never happened to me in the 6 years I was dancing. It was an office birthday party. The lady I was dancing for had her own office. I was dancing for about five minutes with the door open and there wer e a couple of people inside. Next thing I know the door was closed and my pant were down. And my penis was in her mouth
Danica: I was blushing the entire time, y’all, but I had to ask what he did next.
Kelii: After about a good 15 minutes I was finished and we are continuing our adventures as we speak.
Danica: Y’all can’t take this plotbunny away from me. Don’t be surprised if there’s a book based off of this…just sayin’.

I’m pretty sure this one question was enough to send a lot of people into spasms of delight. Er…not those kinds!! Perverts. I mean that it was so blunt, it shocked them. Tickled them pink. You know what I mean! *shuts up*

LaBare’s Garren Luce:

Garren came to me through Justin and Lea Barrymire. Lea had interviewed him for her Tattoo Tuesdays (which you should check out if you don’t already) and he said he wouldn’t mind being shared by us. Okay, just as a little background, Lea and I frequently share men. But it really isn’t as naughty as it sounds. I wish it was…really.

Danica: Are you a breast or a butt man?
Garren: Definitely an ass man! Big booty is a must, LOL
Danica: Which probably makes doggy style more comfortable.
Garren: Lol there is nothing like watching a big booty bounce back and forth against my lower stomach.
Danica: <silence>

Yeah. I think I put my phone down after this question. We conducted it via text messages and I was like ‘Holy cow.’ I’m still thinking that. Really.

LaBare’s Antonio:

Antonio was another recommendation from Justin. I swear, he was pimping Unearthly Musings hard at the beginning of the year. I wonder if I could fund a trip for him to continue pimping me out at other dance clubs…I need more men like these. Between Garren, Antonio and Jose (Ellora’s Cave DJ), I’m learning all kinds of new terms for sex and stuff. They make me feel like a dirty old lady, but I’ll take it because they leave me speechless.

Danica: Favorite position?
Antonio: My favorite position would have to be taking a girl to Poundsberg from behind.
Danica: This is where I did a choking snort kind of thing that caused my dog to stare at me. I’ve never heard it called Poundsberg before…

Poundsberg. POUNDSBERG y’all. ‘Nuff said.

And that’s all for this week! Be sure to stay tuned as I’ll try to report from RT…do my “You should’ve been there” thing and rub it in your faces. Just kidding! Bwahahaha. What about today’s review guys? What was your favorite part of their interviews? (Besides the pictures of course!!)

Happy Friday, peeps!

Interview with Kelii Naliielua

It’s a brand new year…did I do a fantasy man Friday this year? *ponder* Ah yes! Caveman David. Rowr. Hubba, hubba. I did miss last week though. I was working out different angles trying to find a man for y’all. Honest.

And I found one with the help of the first Caveman I interviewed and a really awesome guy, Justin. Today’s hunk is none other than a former Caveman, Kelii. Please give this exotic hunk your attention. *bats her eyelashes*

Danica: How did you become a cover model?
Kelii: I was asked through a friend who had done a few covers.
Danica: Did you have fun with it?
Kelii: It was interesting. It was the first time I had done anything like that. I had done a few fitness magazines, but not a book cover.

Danica: Are you still modeling? What are you doing now?
Kelii: No, I haven’t been a cover model in awhile. I’m a personal trainer by day, stripper by night.
Danica: How is that?
Kelii: It’s two totally different worlds for sure.

Danica: How is it being the focus of that much female attention?
Kelii: When you’re having a bad day, it’s definitely a pick me up. Whenever you walk through those doors, whatever problems you have going on, you’re not going to show it and you forget about it all. You forget about all the stress you have during the day because your job is to make other people have a good time.

Danica: Did you ever read one of the books you’ve been a cover model for?
Kelii:  Yeah! I read Altered States.  I thought it was pretty good. It was interesting how they matched the character on the cover of the book to the character in the book. It was weird, almost as though I was reading about myself.

Danica: What’s the one place in the world you’d love to visit and why?
Kelii: As I’m getting older, I watch the History Channel a lot so I appreciate things like that more. I like to visit China, being part Chinese. I’d like to see where her side of the family came from. I’m Hawaiian and Chinese, I’d like to see more of the Asian side of the family.

Danica: What do you have going on right now? Do you have any upcoming appearances? If so, when, where and will there be video? Just joking about that last one. Sort of. Ahem.
Kelii: Dancing at LaBare’s Houston. Three-four nights a week. Wednesday through Saturday.

Danica: How many hours do you spend in the gym? For yourself, not your clients. (I was blushing at this goof.)
Kelii: I’m only there about an hour to hour and a half about six times a week.

Danica: What do you think is your best feature?
Kelii: I’d have to say my smile.

Danica: What’s your favorite kink?  *moment of silence* What’s your favorite kink? And yes, I mean sexually.
Kelii: I love it when a girl dresses up in sexy lingerie. Garter belts, hose, heels, corset, teddy. That does it for me.

Danica: Are you a breast or a butt man?
Kelii: I’m a breast man. That gets me going.
Danica: I have to say you’re probably the first of the men I’ve interviewed to say that.
Kelii: Really? Funny, but yeah, I like boobs.

Danica: What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done as a model/dancer?
Kelii: I did an office party and it never happened to me in the 6 years I was dancing. It was an office birthday party. The lady I was dancing for had her own office. I was dancing for about five minutes with the door open and there wer e a couple of people inside. Next thing I know the door was closed and my pant were down. And my penis was in her mouth
Danica: I was blushing the entire time, y’all, but I had to ask what he did next.
Kelii: After about a good 15 minutes I was finished and we are continuing our adventures as we speak.
Danica: Y’all can’t take this plotbunny away from me. Don’t be surprised if there’s a book based off of this…just sayin’.

Danica: What’s your favorite color?
Kelii: Sky Blue

Danica: Favorite food?
Kelii: Italian food: pizza, pasta, etc.

Danica: Do you prefer winter or summer?
Kelii: Winter because when it’s hot, you can only go down to your skin and you’d still be hot.
Danica: Amen!

Danica: What’s one movie you can watch over and over?
Kelii: The Hangover
Danica: Or as my mom calls it “The Alcoholics”

Danica: Do you prefer mountains or beaches?
Kelii: Beaches

Danica: Boxers, briefs, commando?
Kelii: Briefs. I like how it holds my junk together.

Danica: Is there anything about yourself you feel enough people don’t know? Kelii: I’m always smiling, always happy and courteous. But no one really knows I’m a secret sex fiend.

…

Um…wh-what? Y’all are actually paying attention here? Shouldn’t you be, I don’t know, licking the screen and babbling incoherently? What do y’all think of Kelii?

Happy Friday!