Tag Archives: Johnny Depp

My 5 Sexiest Men Alive

I’m totally going to blog about The Sexiest Man Alive. That is, if I can get my fingers to work this morning. It’s at least 50 degrees in my office and the digits don’t want to work as fast as usual.

Anyway, Johnny Depp. Yummy! Those eyes. I’m really not going to start drooling *gets out the bib just in case*. He really is one sexy mofo. Oh, I know people are attracted to different things, but he has this (I was so about to bust into French but I can’t spell it) air about him. He’s a man who can be either the boy next door or the man your mama always warned you about. He’s just that hot.

So who else makes it on my list of men who are so flexible (in more ways than one I’m sure *eyebrow waggle*) they can play any part? List time!!

1. Edward Norton will always make my list. He isn’t your usual good-looking man. He’s actually kind of unassuming if you think about it. Except when I watched Fight Club, I was instantly drawn to him. (Hello Brad, you were a hottie too, grrowl.) Then, I saw him in Death to Smoochy and fell in love. If you haven’t seen this movie, you don’t know what you’re missing. It’s so absurd, but man…it has EDWARD NORTON in it!! *swoon*

2. Brad Pitt. You didn’t honestly think I could have a list of sexy men and not put Mr. Pitt on it, did you? Pffth. Brad…oh Brad, I’m mad…for you! So we all know he was dead sexy,  yet whiney in Interview with the Vampire. Those fierce, freaky eyes, that long hair…and fangs! Hubba, hubba. He so could’ve bit me anytime he wanted to. Then he had to go and make Troy. I distinctly remember seeing this at the theaters with my mom. You know that part when we see Brad in all his golden, sun-kissed, naked glory? Oh yeah, that’s my favorite part of the whole friggin’ movie! Moving on…(glad I got the bib out)

3. Jake Gyllenhaal. He has such a boyish face with those big blue eyes and that wide smile. I swear, if I were still a teenager, I would so have a shrine dedicated to his cuteness. I first saw him in Bubble Boy…500 dollar! 500 dollar? 500 dollar! Sorry, had to get that out of my system. He was cute and clueless and I wanted to hold him and pet him and call him George. Then, I saw him in Jarhead. I love a man in uniform…buzzcuts, muscles, sand, Nirvana playing in the background. Mm.

4. Christian Bale. I know, I know, he’s got some serious anger management issues and a lot of people don’t like him because of it. Am I ever going to meet this man? No, I seriously doubt it unless he’s given the role of Lucian when my manuscript makes it to the silver screen. Then, it’s on like Donkey Kong. One night I was bored and decided to watch American Psycho. OMG (or to borrow a phrase from fellow FF&P’ers) ZOMG!! Christian Bale running through a hallway in nothing but a pair of tennis shoes, wielding a chainsaw. I was in love! Then, I saw him in The Prestige and I didn’t even look at Hugh Jackman (who is also luscious). He was bad, he was good, he was confusing me! But I wanted him anyway. Evil, naughty man who needs to be spanked.

5. Liev Schreiber. Hm, you’re probably wondering who he is. Most recently, he played Sabretooth in X-Men Origins: Wolverine. I first saw him in Mixed Nuts dressed as a woman. I thought he made a pretty woman and to be honest, I thought he was the best character in the movie. Then I saw him in Scream and I was in instant lust. Okay, he was a bad guy, not a bad guy, still a bad guy, Hell I don’t even remember if he turned out bad in the end or not. It didn’t matter. I thought he was cuuuuute! I wish he’d get more lead roles because I think he’s a delicious actor.

And that’s my list of five sexiest men alive. I feel as though I’ve cheated ya’ll by not providing pictures, but let’s be honest here…If I had looked for pictures of them, I wouldn’t have posted this at all because I’d still be drooling and scrolling through my list.

So who is on your list of sexiest men alive? I really wanted to put Mike Rowe on this list…he’d come in 6th to be sure. I just love that man. He’s so cute and funny and his voice is divine! Okay, back to the questions: Do you agree with my list? Love these men in a different movie? Hate all of them? Give me some opinions here folks!


Filed under humor