It’s been a while since I’ve had a chance to get down to Cypress Point. The town is still lovely, and the Veilerians are still in full force (not that I’m supposed to know anything about them, of course). However, I managed to track down the ever-elusive Piper Fairhaven.
We met up at Cuppa’s, the only coffee shop in town. She arrived in her very sensible 2007 Honda Civic. Because I have an inside agreement with Kali (the Oracle), I know Piper hates dressing up, so I wasn’t surprised to see her in jeans and a “My Heroes Have Always Been in Books” T-shirt.
I was surprised though, by her appearance. She’s maybe 5’3″, and curvy. I mean that in the best way. She’s adorable! She also has the most gorgeous hair. If I thought I’d look just as good with black and gold striped hair, I’d do it in a heartbeat. She also has the most eerie gold eyes I’ve ever seen.
Me: Hi Piper, thank you so much for agreeing to this interview!
Piper: I didn’t have much choice, you kept calling my cell phone, and threatened to come to the Pleasure House.
Okay, so perhaps I was too persistent.
M: So what exactly is a pleasure house?
P: It’s a home for succubi. Because succubi live off of male energy, it was deemed acceptable by the High Council that succubi could live together in familial units to generate and preserve male lust.
M: Um, so you guys are like…you know, a brothel?
She didn’t look too happy about my choice of words.
P: No. We don’t take payment, we don’t allow mated males, and we have very strict rules. My mother, Persephone, is the Seductarian and she’d never allow anything that would harm the house. The males who visit the house know what they’re getting into.
M: Your mom’s the what, leader then? Who works in the house? You?
She blushed. Who knew succubi could blush? I thought they were all unflappable sex kittens. Huh, you learn something new everyday.
P: Um. My sisters Penny, Posy, Prudence, and Pauline choose their escorts for the night. I work the door with another bouncer to make sure the males who aren’t chosen don’t become rowdy.
M: Why don’t you, er work with your sisters?
We were both blushing by now.
P: I’m uh, not- I haven’t transitioned yet.
I looked around to make sure no one was listening.
M: I heard that you’re a Halfling.
P: What! Who told you that?
M: I have my sources, all confidential, I’m afraid.
P: Well, let me tell you something Ms. Avet, if word gets out about this, it could mean my life, so I hope you’re careful with what you know.
M: No one will know, trust me.
You guys won’t say anything, will you?
P: Then yes, I am a Halfling. My mom, um, had an affair with a weretiger and er, had me. If my father’s streak finds out about me, it could have political…implications
I barely held back my ‘whoa’. I wanted to ask her more, but she was fidgeting, so I decided to change the subject.
M: Um, I’m to understand that you’re working with a werewolf on something?
Remember I said she had eerie gold eyes? Well, they’re really scary when she’s pissed off.
P: Yes. Connor Griffin. He’s the temporary Alpha of the Tall Pines Pack in Wolf Gap, Texas. He’s here looking for his nephew.
She was totally disgusted when she said his name, but she looked intrigued too. There was more to this story and I couldn’t wait to find out what.
M: Why don’t you like him?
P: Because he’s an arrogant ass! Oops.
Everyone had stopped to stare at us, especially the kid working behind the counter. In fact, he turned beet red and ran to the bathroom. Hm. When I looked back at Piper, her face was just as red.
P: He’s rude, overbearing…rude…nasty tempered…Sexy, okay? He’s friggin’ sexy. The ass.
M: O-kay, so why is he looking for his nephew here?
P: I don’t know. He asked to meet with my mom, but she sent me instead cause-
This was getting good!
P: Gah, I think she’s trying to get me to sleep with him.
M: Whoa. Why?
She looked around and leaned forward. I obliged her unspoken request for privacy.
P: Um, I have to lose my virginity to reach my full succubus potential and I think she wants Connor to do it.
M: Holy cow…you’re a virgin? How old are you?
Now she looked offended. I have a big mouth sometimes, but really, she’s a bloody succubus! Well, a succubus/weretiger Halfling, but she’s totally hot. Not that I’m into women, but all the men in the coffee shop were trying to watch her without getting caught.
P: I’m seventy-four, and I’m a virgin because…because I don’t know! I don’t…I don’t want to be a succubus, dammit. I want to fall in love with one man, have children, and be happy. But does mom get that? Noooo, she thinks I have this destiny to lead the house for her when she retires.
That was much more information than I thought I’d get, so I was content. Wow, so her mom was trying to get her to have sex. What a weird mother-daughter relationship!
M: And she wants Connor to do this?
P: She suggested it, not very subtly either. She’s always throwing men in my way. I’m almost tripping over them when I go out the house now.
M: That sounds awful.
Sarcasm, thou hast overcome me again!
P: It is horrible! These men don’t want to do anything but have sex. I want a partner, a friend…you know. I want to live like a regular woman. To them, I’m just a sex object.
M: Ouch. So what are you going to do?
P: I don’t know. Avoid Connor Griffin at all costs, if I can.
M: But I thought he was hot.
P: He is! He just hates succubi, okay? He hates me, and he doesn’t even know me.
At this point, Piper was near tears, so I couldn’t go on. Poor lass. Thrown in the path of a male (who is apparently very sexy, rude, arrogant, blah, blah, blah) who hates what she was by a mother who wants her to have sex with him. Wow, and I thought I had problems.
M: I’m sorry for upsetting you, Piper. Thank you for taking the time to meet with me.
P: It’s okay. Everything seems to upset me these days.
M: How about I treat you to a Snickers Crush Iced Mocha?
P: That sounds good.
We spent the rest of the afternoon drinking the most divine drinks, and talking about romance books. Apparently Piper is as much a romance bookworm as I am. I just hope my interview with Connor goes a little better. Maybe I’ll wait a little longer before I meet with him.