If you’re easily offended, now is the time to close this post.
I didn’t realize just how much I hold back until this conference. There are a lot of things I avoid saying so as not to offend people. I want everyone to like me. However, I’m an erotic romance writer. I’m going to offend a lot of people who don’t understand the genre, so you know what? Fuck it. You heard me, I said it. Fuck it. I’m going to let it out and hope I don’t lose that many readers.
The conversations I had at RomantiCon varied greatly. It could have been something as serious as relationships that are rocky to losing someone important. Or it could have been something completely silly and hysterical. If you were sitting at a table with me the last night, the phrase “Shoulder holder” should have significant meaning to you. That and Oklahoma. Which now every time I see/hear that word I immediately want to stretch out to make myself as flat as possible.
Then there was the book signing. I was sitting right next to Lea Barrymire who is a bad influence. I swear she was trying to get me in trouble. It started off innocently enough, with me calling over one of the cavemen to talk about interviewing him for the blog. He crouched in front of me to talk and my brain must have gone on hiatus to have all of that attention on me. *fans herself* Hell, my heart is fluttering just thinking about it. Did I care that he’s the same age as my nephew? Nope.
Anyway, I’m giving him my spiel about the blog process and interview and when I get to the part where I ask if he has any subjects that are taboo, he says, “I don’t understand. You’re not going to ask me if I fuck barnyard animals or something, are you?” Oh. My. God. I’m so glad I was able to keep calm, but inside I was dying from laughing hysterically. No, we are not asking the cavemen that question, people. But man, that was hilarious.
So while I have this gorgeous man at my table (which my phone autocorrected to twaddle), I saw a few readers checking him out. I called them over so they could meet him and chat. Once he left, Lea and I spoke with the ladies about Ohio and the Amish and…was there a burlesque dancer in there as well? I seem to recall asking her about pasties. Hm. *shrug* Somehow we got on the topic of menage stories and the fact that no matter how careful the men are in a m/f/m sandwich…there’s going to be touching. There might have even been mention of balls slapping together.
It was at this point that an Ellora’s Cave staff member walked up with a video camera. He stopped, backtracked and said, “What was that?”
Normally I would have turned beet red and changed the subject. However, there must be something in the air at the hotel…testosterone maybe? The same hormone that drives women wild and men to do crazy things? I don’t know really. But yes, I told him exactly what we were talking about which then led to a discussion about double balls or quad balls and well it really just went downhill from there.
And sadly enough, this was the most tame conversation I had there. It was freeing and relaxing to know I could say something that would normally be interpreted as disgusting and uncouth without being judged. That’s the best part about RomantiCon. I could tell Sasha Devlin I was jealous of her boobs without her thinking it was sexual. I loved every part of the conversations had with the ladies I met, not to mention you never knew what you were going to get when you spoke with the cavemen.
I’ve managed to drag out this entire week without talking exclusively about the men. Well, tomorrow’s about the smexy menz of Ellora’s Cave. My recommendation is that you get a bib, make sure you’re in a locked room and have a clean pair of panties available because these men are h.o.t.