I don’t know if I’ve ever told y’all about old cat. Her real name is Ty. I got her when I was in college. I had this idea to name her Titania from Shakespeare (I was taking a class on him at the time), but it was only as I got to know her well that I realized she was more like Byron’s Tyger. Hence, the spelling of her name went from Ti to Ty. She’s definitely no fairy princess.
Ty is fifteen years old. She’s disciplined my nephews, cousins, and even me. She’s known as this fierce, dangerous cat, but when she wants to be, she can be the most adoring kitty. Especially if you’re my brother. She does love him something awful.
Ty is an outside cat. She’s been fixed for years and years, but that never stopped her from doing her seductive play-cat pose all over the driveway. I’m telling you she’s shameless! How many times have I seen her rolling around on the driveway like she’s waiting for someone to start taking pictures for the next issue of CatBoy magazine? Too many to count.
Therefore, it shouldn’t have come as any surprise when her beaus started showing up. See, she has a good set up. Yes, she’s outside, but she sleeps in the screened porch. She has a very nice bed with lots of blankets and towels to make her comfortable. A huge bowl of water, and as much food as I can give her. We even put shades up over the screens during the winter to cut down on the cold air so she doesn’t get cold.
It was a sweet set up. Until the boyfriends started showing up. I came home one afternoon to see a huge tear in the screen door. I just knew she’d done it because she still hasn’t forgiven us for putting her outside. Yet when I walked onto the porch, this strange male cat started flipping out, running around like I wanted to catch him. I ended up throwing doors open left, right, and center to get him out of the porch.
That was the first boyfriend. A big orange tomcat. We mended the screen as best as we could and went on with our lives. Then I came home one day to see a strange gray cat sleeping in Ty’s house. I kid you not, this male had torn through the other screen door, came onto the porch, ate all of her food, drank most of her water, and then slept in her house! And where was Ty? Sitting on one of the chairs watching him.
Really. Something had to be done. That’s when we bought storm doors for the porch. Of course I had to listen to my brother and nephew complain about who was doing what wrong while they put one of them up, but Ty’s boyfriends haven’t been back since. I still see them now and then. I hear them fighting over her honor, but they don’t get on the porch.
The way I figure it, they should do things the old-fashioned way and court her with mouse heads and grass for her to eat. No way am I letting my poor old kitty let some male sponge off her. You know?