The Nervous Stomach

Why does it always seem like the weekends are never long enough? *sniff* I think we should always have 3-day weekends just so we can slowly adjust to the upcoming work week. Who’s with me?

Le sigh.

Have I ever mentioned that I have a nervous stomach? Not like embarrassingly nervous or anything, but more like “Oh, I think I’m going to puke nervous”. Why am I nervous? Well a couple of things really.

First off, today is my first day blogging over at Darker Temptations. I know, you’d think after two years of blogging it should be old, but this is like…different. I have no idea what to talk about! *gasps* I know! I wrote three or four posts, hated them all and deleted them. It’s supposed to be an introduction, but I really don’t want to sound all stuck on myself or anything. It’s really bothering me LOL

Secondly, next weekend my sister-in-law’s mom is hosting a book party in my honor. *hyperventilates* Oh sure, most of the women in my family will be there, but it’s scary as all hell. I mean…I have to put my Danica hat on for them. They only know me as, well me, the woman behind Danica. How will they react when they see the other me? The one who smiles and laughs and talks to people without a bit of nervousness? How in the hell am I going to read an excerpt of my book without stumbling over my words?

I’m not worried about people not being able to hear me. I do come from a loud ass family after all. Being able to speak loud enough to be heard over ten other loud mouths is normal. No, it’s the actual speaking that’s worrying me. I mean, I know I’ve been talking for thirty something years, but when I get nervous or worked up, I mispronounce words, or slur like I’ve been hitting the Jack Daniels. *deep breath* Okay, calming down.

No, I’m not. I can’t be calm until it’s over. I have to choose a scene to read and practice. I remember that much from Speech 101. I have to make eye contact and not read in a monotone. I can do that. I think. But then I worry about my eyes jumping spots and wasting time trying to find my place again. *groans* It’ll be fine.

Maybe I can hit the wine before the reading. Just a couple of bottles glasses to calm me down. Or I can find someone in the audience and read to them…maybe I should ask them to invite a really hot guy. Of course then I’d have to be extra careful because then I’d start speaking in my usually-non-existant flat Cajun accent. Mais, this is going to be interesting.

But I’m calm…or I will be just as soon as the reading is over.

How about y’all? What makes you nervous? Are you a good public speaker, or do you have to psyche yourself up for it?

8 Comments

Filed under humor

8 responses to “The Nervous Stomach

  1. KAK

    Ya know, they do make a wine glass that can hold an entire bottle… 😀

  2. What makes me nervous? My first book signing is THIS Saturday. YIKES. I’m super excited but super nervous, too!!!!

    Gotta love this journey, huh? 🙂

  3. You’ll be fine. I think it’s going to be awesome!!

  4. Public speaking definitely makes me nervous. My writers group had a “Beatnick Cafe” at a local bookstore where we read the short stories we wrote for the occassion. Not thinking, I wrote something. Then I was picked to go first! Ee-gads!

    Yeah, I read it too fast. Yeah, my voice was probably too soft. No, I didn’t look at the audience (are you kidding me??). But I survived (and you will, too). Maybe it was a good thing I went first. My anxiety was short-lived!

    Good luck!

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