I was musing this morning about something my mom said not long ago. Actually, she says it once every couple of months. She’ll look at me and say, “You know, I always thought you were going to be my girly-girl and Melody was going to be my tomboy. You swapped roles on me.”

I suppose she has sound reason to feel this way. When my sister was little, she was rough and tumble, playing football and baseball with the neighborhood boys (there was only 1 other girl and she played as well). She never wore dresses and hated to have her hair brushed. When I was little, I didn’t have any choice but to be everyone’s doll. My hair was brushed (against my will) by my aunts, my mom. I was shoved into dresses and kimonos (again my Korean aunt had her way).

But things started changing when my sister hit twelve. I was six. She discovered boys. My mom remarried. I became my stepdad’s “son”. I learned how to scrape mud off my cowboy boots, rode in his 18-wheeler with him, learned to fish, and by the time I was 10, I was learning to shoot. My sister was well into the big hair, make-up, skin-tight jeans (you know, the ones that looked like you had to jump off a roof to get into them), and shirts with shoulder pads.

Twenty-some odd years later, and things haven’t really changed. Oh, sure, I do the girly thing and get my hair fixed, my toes done, wear make-up, but my sister takes it to a whole new level. Where I’ll only get my nails done for a special occasion, she gets hers done all the time. She gets her hair fixed more often than I do and she still spends at least two hours in the bathroom preparing for her day. Me? Fifteen minutes max and that’s if I fix my hair.

Of course, sometimes this difference causes friction between big sister and me. Like yesterday. She wants to go to the mall on Black Friday to hit up Victoria’s Secret. The conversation went something like this:

Sister: “But you deserve a new bra now that you lost weight! C’mon!”
Me: “I haven’t lost that much weight yet and I don’t want to be surrounded by rabid, hormonal women who want a good sale. You know I hate crowds.”
Sister: “Yeah, but you’ll go to those metal concerts and mosh!”
Me: “That’s because I can push people and not get arrested!”
Sister: “You are so not fun.”
Me: “Fine, I’ll go, but I want Thai food!”

So yeah, as un-girly as I am, I’m going *shudders* shopping on Black Friday. I wonder if I can get a prescription…like lithium or something to keep me from becoming violent? Hm.

Anyway, Mom just doesn’t get it. My sister and I have puzzled her and I don’t think she likes it much. I suppose we all have huge expectations of others whether we mean to or not.

Have you thrown your parents’ expectations upside down and inside out? If you have children, have they thrown you for a loop?


Filed under Family

14 responses to “Expectations

  1. Oh my, that’s funny. I’m with you, but at least you were nice and said you’d go. I would have dug my heals in even further. You couldn’t pay me enough to shop black Friday. LOL.

    I think I threw my family for a loop when I got my tattoos. People look at me pretty surprised when they see them. When I say “Them” it’s really only TWO….but for “someone like me” I guess it’s surprising, especially when they hear I am looking at designs for my third. *LOL*

    • Okay, Lynn…you’ve surprised me. *looks at that sweet picture and reads about the tattoos again* I’ve heard that as well, that I look like someone who wouldn’t have tattoos, but I love the ink. I should so not be surprised! lol

  2. Once I had my first kid more or less figured out, I thought, “ok, I have this mom thing pegged.” Then I had DD#2, and everything I knew about children went out the window. I cannot overstate how different they are, even though they look like twins. You cannot predict children – you just have to hang on for the ride.

  3. After three boys, yeah, I know now that I know nothing. LOL. Each day is a new experience. I will say I now understand why my parents did some things while growing up, they didn’t know what else to do. Been there with my now 13-year-old. But love every minute of it. Have a great day Danica!

    • Ouch. 13 is a rough age for boys. My nephews were absolute hormonal horrors at that age! They didn’t return to “normal” until they were out of high school. *comfort* Good luck!

  4. KAK

    I don’t know that my sister and I ever fooled our mom. She had us pegged as Dr. Frankenstein and Igor from the get-go. Dad, sweet, sweet Dad, on the other hand, we still keep throwing him for loops.

  5. Okay, I hate Black Friday so bad, that I opted to work. Tells you something huh! I was the tom boy in my family and probably could still be considered that. I’m not opposed to baiting my own hook, but you wouldn’t get either of my daughters even near the rod.

    My son sometimes forgets that I’m female and will practice his tackling moves with me. Not fun, getting too old for this….

    As far as letting anyone down, probably not for the reasons you listed, but who can tell. Great post. Hid in corners where women waving pink lace can’t find you–my million dollar advice for the day.

    • Well, now my sister is thinking she doesn’t want to do Black Friday shopping. Le sigh. Sisters. I totally want out of it, but it all hinges on her and how lazy she’s feeling that day.

      LOL, nothing wrong with being rough and tumble! My brother frequently forgot I was female when he wanted to goof off.

  6. Wonderful post as usual- My sis and I are opposites even down to her being a blond and me a brunette. My boys look alike but one is type A like his mom and the other is almost an ameoba, he’s so laid back. Not surprising, that one is the musician.

  7. Hi there! I popped over from Ciara’s blog. Loved this post! I, too, am not into crowds and shopping and getting hair and nails done. I do NOT envy you shopping on black Friday–you are brave. Good luck! 😀

    • Thanks for stopping by! I think plans may have changed. Playing it by ear right now, but crossing my fingers and hoping for the best because I so don’t want to go through that mess! lol

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