Dammit Jim, I’m A Romance Writer

not a therapist.

I was originally going to write this post on grammar and why I’m totally not suited to proofreading someone’s college essay, but now I have to switch gears. You see there’s drama happening as I’m typing this.

My sister and my youngest nephew’s girlfriend are…butting heads? Which is kind of hard to do through e-mail, but it’s something I’ve been expecting. The nephew and his girl have been dating since they were 12. They’re both 19 this year. Yeah, that’s a long time. They’re in college together. When they finish the first part of their schooling close to home, they want to buy a camper and move to another college. They want the camper because it would be cheaper than renting an apartment, and less distracting than living in the dorms.

Just writing that down makes me wonder. Kids…well, kids are kids. They make grand plans. I ought to know. I made plenty of grand plans when I was 19. What’s scary to me, is that I can kind of see their point. Kind of. The outraged godmother is thinking “They’re too young to play house together!”, but who am I to say they don’t truly love each other and this wouldn’t be the best thing for them?

I’ve tried to tell my sister that she needs to let her children make their own mistakes, but when is letting them choose their own way going too far? I suppose we’re weirdos in this family because we don’t want our kids to leave us. We want the whole family within driving distance at all times, but I worry that my sister will end up alienating her son by her refusal to treat her son and his girlfriend as adults. Meh.

Just meh. They’ve ruined my diet. I need food now.

My sister’s point is that she doesn’t believe in a couple living together before they get married. Thinking over the entire family…yeah, none of my mom’s children did. The kids are worried if they’re not together in college, they’ll drift apart. The romance writer in me wants to tell them “if you truly love each other, distance won’t matter”. I need chocolate now.


Filed under Family

11 responses to “Dammit Jim, I’m A Romance Writer

  1. Yikes. That’s a tough one. Hang in there.

  2. KAK

    My dad was of the same opinion as your sister. Years later he admitted he wasn’t happy about the co-hab before marriage, but he would have been less happy not seeing me at all.

    • I don’t think there’s a right or wrong answer in this. I can’t say I blame my sister, but my reasons are more about how will my nephew’s grades be if he has to work and try to keep up with bills while living on his own. Eh, mistakes are just waiting to be made, lol

  3. Meh. Toughie. Thing is, kid will do what they do. At some point parents need to accept it or end the relationship. I think my first showdown with my mom that way was when I was about 20. (it was about a road trip as well.) speaking as someone who lived with not one, not two, but four different guys before I got married (including husband) the main problem is it’s a pain in the butt to deal with moving out when you brake up. It’s like a series of mini-divorces.

    On the upside, you learn what a hassle divorce might be. I’d be more worried about kids getting into a car accident while pulling a crappy old camper. But car accidents are what scare me. Leases and cohabitation, less so. 😉

    Hang in there!!

  4. I’d comment, but it would take WAY too many words…

  5. That’s a tough one, but ultimately they are 19.

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