This weekend I went shopping with my patient, ever-helpful older sister. But that’s not really what this post is about even though I’d love to mention how shocked she was when we ended the day with me having…8 huge bags of clothing and she had one teeny tiny bag.
No, today’s post is me wondering where my head is. On my way to meet her in town, I nearly got into a serious wreck which would have been all my fault. Now I’ve done some dumb things in the nearly 20 years I’ve been driving, but lately it’s like my brain isn’t connected when I drive. If there was a snowball’s chance in Hell I was pregnant, I’d think it was hormonal.
In the last five months, I’ve been stopped by a cop, backed into something twice, and nearly wrecked. After so many years of no problems, I’m starting to wonder if there’s something more serious going on in my head. I’m a thinker, so sure I get distracted, but I’ve never been distracted to the point of possibly harming myself or others. My sister seems to think I’m trying to multi-task too much, which I suppose is a possibility.
Most of the time my brain clicks away about whatever project I’m working on which I’ve grown used to. Lately though, it isn’t just my writing that’s distracted me from “real” life although it plays a big part in it. I’m constantly thinking…sort of like this:
Do I have another rejection waiting in my inbox from an agent and/or editor? How will I save enough vacation time for next Nationals if I’m taking time off this year and for mom’s surgery? Is my dog peeing on the floor? Is my cat peeing on the floor? Did I forget to turn off my straightening iron? What am I going to wear to work tomorrow? What am I going to blog about? Did I put on enough deodorant? What’s the name of that song I wanted to buy when I got home? What e-book will I read next?
It goes on and on, my thoughts tumbling like clothes in the dryer. Most of the time though, I can block some of it and concentrate on whatever I need to do at that moment…like driving. That hasn’t been the case lately, which worries me. Is it adult ADD? I have no clue, but I do jump from project to project when that isn’t the norm for me. I try not to get myself worked up and paranoid over these slips, but after my near miss this weekend, I have to start to wonder.
So, where’s your head at?