Cubs, Cougars, & Pumas, Oh My!

So I’ve gotten over the Twilight fever. I had it for a good while although not as long as some people I know. I suppose I ruined it for myself by reading articles analyzing the story, or reading Dan Bergstein’s blogging the entire Twilight series, or simply coming out of the fog. Whatever the reason, I’m not as enamored of the stories as I was when I read them. I also haven’t seen the last two movies, not from a lack of interest, but because I just haven’t had the chance. (Don’t stab me with your stilettos! I’ll get to it when I can, honest.)

Anyway, my co-workers have seen Eclipse and had to rhapsodize over it at work. Of course, this lead the men in the office to spouting the usual phrases you’ll hear when men feel threatened: ‘They’re so gay.’ ‘That Edward dude is gay.’ ‘Ha, Jacob’s a gaybird going around without his shirt on.’ Now, I’m not into the series anymore, but even I can see that this is just begging for a comeback. I told one of the ladies to ask them if the men were gay when they’re working in their yards without their shirts. Yeah, that didn’t go over well.

See it all boils down to jealousy and a sense of inadequacy. Women get this feeling nearly all the time when our men drool over some cute young thing at the store, or say, ‘That Jessica Alba…*grunt*’. When the tables are turned on them, it gets sticky. But even more than that, Robert Pattinson and Taylor Lautner have more cubs (under 30 females), pumas (30-40 females), and cougars (over 40 females) after them than wounded rabbits.

Has there ever been such mass hysteria over two young men before? Oh sure, The Beatles were pretty hot back in the day, but they appealed to the younger women who were into rock and roll. Edward and Jacob appeal to women of all ages! It’s partly the books, of course. The Twilight series spans generations, gives mothers and daughters (and even grandmothers and granddaughters) something in common. When you add the movies with two physically fit, attractive young men into the mix…well, you’ve got a recipe for estrogen overload.

You all know how much I adore my Fantasy Men, so I definitely see the appeal and completely understand the drool factor. This weekend my sister and I were walking the mall and saw two life-size cutouts of the guys. Edward, all pale and fierce looking.

Jacob, dark, hot…animalistic. I asked her which one she preferred (she hasn’t read the books or seen the movies). She said Jacob. I agreed with her. That’s just me though. I do understand the Edward appeal, but Jacob…oh my…he’s an animal. Really! How hot is that? Edward though, from what I’ve been told by my co-workers, looks like he knows what to do with a woman. Personally, I wouldn’t mind teaching Jacob what to do because you know he’d be enthusiastic and energetic. *cough*

Anyway, what the Twilight series has done (books & movies) is bridge the generational gap and bring women together for a single purpose: to ogle two sexy young men. It’s also turned a nation of men against said young men. Which is a shame really. I don’t say anything about Angelina Jolie, or Scarlett Johansson when guys around me are talking about them. They’re both beautiful women (although I think Scarlett is much prettier than Angelina) and I can admire that.


So…I know this is going to cause a flurry of comments, but I have to ask two very important questions: What do you like about the Twilight series? And…Team Edward or Team Jacob?


Filed under humor

7 responses to “Cubs, Cougars, & Pumas, Oh My!

  1. Daisy Harris

    Sadly, I don’t find either guy attractive. I wish i did! But alas, not my type. In the books I was team Edward all the way. In general I WAY prefer vampires over shape shifter heroes. I’m all about men who are cold and distant- like the Psy. Probably why my dating career went so dismally.
    I saw Zac Effron on Entourage the other day… he’s looking pretty good. (Of course no one cares anymore…)

    • Really? Vampires over shapeshifters…hm. See, in the Psy/Changeling series, I’m all about the guys being shifters. As much as I liked Caressed By Ice, it was the least of my favorites in the series. I’m all about the animal magnetism. Oooh yeah!

  2. LOL, there are WAY more boys in these movies than just Edward and Jacob… there’s Carlisle, Jasper, Emmet, James and Riley on the vamp side, then, of course, there’s Paul, Jared, Sam, Quil, etc. on the Quileute side. And that’s only the beginning. What people forget, I think, is that this is supposed to be entertaining, not a commentary on real life. It was written originally for YOUNG ADULTS, and as such, is going to be a little on the sappy side.

    Ever read a Harlequin bodice-ripper? You write for your target audience. Stephenie Meyer wrote for young adults. There’s lots of drama and swooning going on there. So that’s what’s in the books.

    I just wish people would let themselves be entertained, and stop critiquing this like it’s supposed to be grand drama. It’s not.

    • Brea, you’re right and I feel horrible that I’ve almost become the very person my English professors warned me about! Most of the time I can sit back and just enjoy, but after too much exposure, I have to analyze. Strangely enough, I didn’t do this with the Harry Potter series. I took those at face value and loved them.

      • LOL, I wasn’t saying you did that! I loved your post! I simply meant that I see so many snide websites shredding these stories; trying to compare them with authors like William Faulkner, or John Steinbeck.

        Oddly enough, the fact that people seriously feel the need to tear these books apart, makes them more legit for me. It’s like when Roger Ebert used to tear apart kids’ movies. Made me want to see them more, cause I’m all about going the opposite way from the tide.

        I suddenly get this “Mama Bear” syndrome going for these kids in this movies, and feel the need to stick up for them!

        P.S. I’m strictly Team Jasper. *flutter*
        My husband also loves the books and the movies. He’s a monster-junkie!

      • LOL, phew. Thank god. Actually, the way I see it…most of what the critics consider “true literature” is absolute crap. Hello? I hated The Great Gatsby and don’t even get me started on Charles Dickens! I think people should be able to enjoy whatever they want.

        Jasper? Really? *ponders* I just knew I didn’t like Bella. Everyone else was cool.

  3. Neither! And not a big fan….please don’t stone me!

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