This is my Independence Day Fantasy Man Friday. I know Independence Day isn’t until Sunday, but I’m a weekday blogger (unless something spectacular happens on the weekend).
Independence Day is a day when Americans gather round to eat copious amounts of charred meat (barbecue), attempt to set their backyards on fire (while barbecuing), and then blow stuff up (fireworks after barbecuing). Is there nothing better? Really.
Last 4th of July, I was home alone finishing my first manuscript. At 4 p.m., I’d typed “The End” and sat at my computer, absolutely stunned. I’d finally done it! I’d finally written a whole book. It’s gathering dust after it nosedived during submissions, but it was a good attempt. I was so proud of myself and I still am. Not everyone gets to that point, something I remind myself of when I get a rejection.
This year, I have no idea what I’m doing. Probably eating copious amounts of charred meat, but no fireworks for us. It isn’t legal in our parish (those old farts). Instead, I’ll sit on my porch and watch everyone else risk ticketing while they shoot fireworks and I’ll read my Kindle and I’ll be content.
But I have to ask, because this is very important, what’s more American to you? When I was trying to decide on a Fantasy Man for today, I tried to think of the epitome of the American male. My first thought was the cowboy. Hello…we’re the only ones who have them. Sure, South America has the gaucho, but we have the bowl-legged, bronco bustin’, singing on the range, American cowboy. Like this one:
Hooo…weee. That’s really…I mean, are those jeans tight enough? *drools all over the keyboard* THAT’S American. Nom, nom, nom!!
But then I realized I was leaving out one of the most important American recreations ever invented. Baseball. I don’t like to watch baseball. When I was younger, I used to love playing, but then I got socked in the foot with a hardball and stopped cause it hurt and also because the boys didn’t like that I got more home runs than they did. Anyway, so then I was like…baseball is more American than cowboys, right? So I found this guy:
If baseball was played…nude by men who look like this, I could probably get over my aversion to it. Look at that tan line! And look at the size of that bat! (You knew I was going to say it, didn’t you?)
So my question for you is, which is more American?
I hope you all have a safe holiday weekend and for those of you non-Americans, enjoy the eye candy and try not to be jealous of the de-bloating I’ll have to do Sunday night.