I’m A Lumberjack and I’m Okay!

Well, I’m not a lumberjack, but I’ve always had this fascination for them. No, I don’t watch Swamp Loggers (although I’ve been tempted), but from the time I was about 16, I was hooked on cowboys and lumberjacks. I had this big plan to move to Alaska and find me one.

Why do I bring this up? Because my brother and his wife went on an Alaskan cruise for their honeymoon (lucky bastard…escaping HELL aka south Louisiana for the cool climes of Alaska). Before he left, my goofy brother told me he was going to bring me back a lumberjack. I just nodded politely because: A. It’s like he’s desperate to get me hooked up/married off, and B. He doesn’t know my likes and dislikes in men. So I told him to have my sister-in-law pick him out. She gets me.

Well, they got home yesterday and my brother hands me an AlaskaMen magazine and a 2011 Lumberjacks of Alaska calendar. I giggled. My little bro followed through! Sort of. Oh I’m sure I’ll have to post something with a sexy lumberjack soon (keep your eyes peeled), but my question is why are they so…mysteriously attractive?

I’m serious! Is it the whole “me-big-strong-man-you-small-sexy-woman” vibe I picked up from all those romances I read? It has to be. I mean, these are guys who cut down and haul trees around for crying out loud! They have to be strong. And I do love a man with a well-developed torso…*daydreams* Oh I know, I know, they aren’t all walking sex gods, but it’s nice to pretend they are. Sort of like when I see cops in BDUs…*drools* There’s just something about those pants that makes me want to shout “I need to be handcuffed to your bed!” and the sad part is, I don’t even look at their faces.

You probably all think I’m horribly easy, which I’m not…but my id does have a big mouth and it tends to take over where men are concerned. So let’s list what “does it” for Danica, shall we?

1. Men in hard hats (keep me away from construction sites)
2. Men in safety harnesses wearing hard hats (if you haven’t seen a man walking around with those straps around his groin…you’re missing out!)
3. Men in BDUs (I love Mardi Gras for this alone…forget about the beads, where are the cops?!)
4. Men in Cowboy hats/jeans/nothing else (Thanks to Lorelei James I have a whole new appreciation for cowboys)
5. Men who cut down trees otherwise known as lumberjacks (Burly, dirty, able to pick up Southern women with one hand…hubba hubba?)

But who am I kidding? This list could be expanded six times over. I’m a woman who appreciates the male body, sweat, sometimes smell, and strength. Now that I’ve had my say, is there one particular man who flips your Twinkie? You see a man dressed x way and you immediately start daydreaming? Don’t be shy, tell Tante Danica everything!

7 Comments

Filed under humor

7 responses to “I’m A Lumberjack and I’m Okay!

  1. OMG that just cracks me up! Hmm, I’ll have to think on this one cause you are right about the above. I need time to add to the list 🙂

    • Yes, please add to my list because I can always use more men to drool over. In fact, I remembered another one: firemen!! Hubba hubba, woo-woo!! They have such…long hoses*cough*

  2. I may or may not have encouraged Mr. Troo to join the local Constabulary for the uniform and handcuffs…

  3. Ok, Military men, in all forms. Doesn’t matter what they’re wearing as long as it’s tight and shows em off. I’m cool with them just showing off too.

  4. The guy you had in last week`s Fantasy Man Friday. Yeah, that does it in soooo many ways.

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