No Filter

We have a student worker in our office this summer. She isn’t just some random kid, no she’s the great-granddaughter of the company’s founder. Lately, she’s been helping me sort through some very dusty, boring paperwork which means she sits in my office.

She’s 18…I think, so I shouldn’t feel so bad, but she’s one of those kids who just looks innocent. Me + innocent teenager = corruption. Why? Because I can’t function without my music to get me through the day. My MP3 player will roll through anything from ABBA and Santigold to Jay-Z and Slipknot with a stop in just about every genre in between. This means um, some swearing…in some cases, it means a LOT of swearing.

But that isn’t all. Oh no, I also mumble to myself throughout the day. I know I do it, but I can’t really help it. Maybe it’s a product of having spent too many years griping about people under my breath, but I talk out loud. And naturally, not all of that talk is G-rated. I’ve never hidden the fact that I have a foul mouth. My writing even reflects it, but when I’m around certain people, I do attempt to curb it.

Except I keep forgetting she’s sitting in my office. So when I get an e-mail I’m not happy about, I mumble something along the lines of “oh for f***’s sake!” and anything else I can think of that may (or may not) help me vent some of my stress and irritation.

I’m not ashamed…per se. More like I’m thinking, ‘Please don’t tell your great-grandfather’…he’s 94 and still tours the yards and he’s an utter sweetheart…who once trained to be a priest. Yeah…a priest. You see? Corruption is just a word away.

Oh, I suppose I should mention that yes, my manuscripts contain a lot of salty language. It’s well, second-nature to have my characters speak like I do. If I get published, it’ll probably offend some people (I’ve read a few complaints from well-know authors who don’t believe romance heroines should talk like sailors), but it’s language I’m actually comfortable with. Does this mean I can’t have a completely non-offensive, intelligent conversation? Naw, I can hold my own. I even know some pretty good words when I want to use them.

I’m just a Southern girl who swears like a sailor, listens to music other people find offensive, and I’m fine with that. It’s who I am.

So now the question is…who out there will I need to use a filter for if I meet up with them at Nationals?


Filed under humor

13 responses to “No Filter

  1. Swear like a sailor. LOL!!!

    I love your honesty!

    I won’t be at nationals, but I know you’re gonna have a great time. It’s so beautiful down there at the swan/dolphin resorts. I went a few years back to that area for a conference (not writing related) and had a blast!

    I’m a mumbler–not one a big cusser or anything–but a mumbler nonetheless and I get some weird looks for it. I think us writers are the mumbling type. Must be part of our genius. Right?

    Have a great day.

  2. I can’t help you, I’m afraid. I don’t swear like a sailor, I swear like the I.T. Engineer that I was for some 11+ years.

    Oh well 😀

    • Lynn – I’m sorry I won’t be able to meet you at Nationals. I’m really looking forward to it (being my first time). Mumbling = genius…yes! I like it lol

      Troo – Well, I wasn’t a sailor…the closest I came to it is my stepdad was a sailor, so I actually swear like a sailor’s daughter whose father didn’t swear at all. But the I.T. swearing sounds promising. I’ll have to ask around to see what exactly that means lol

      • Haha, engineers are a sweary bunch. The vocabulary tends toward profanity with a few non-swear words interspersed between them to give a little context to the swearing.

      • Hm, so it’s all about flavor and texture…I think I understand this. I’m taking notes.

  3. I won’t be at Nationals either (went to RT Convention & signed up for Dragon*Con before I knew what Nationals was and wiped out my vacation), but you wouldn’t have to filter around me. I don’t cuss like it, but I was in the Army for almost 6 years, and an Army wife for another 10. I think I’ve just about heard it all!

  4. KAK

    I think we all need to hear a recording of you on a tirade, ’cause all I can hear is an Irish curmudgeon saying, “Oh, for f**k’s sake.”

    • Stacy – I always think I’ve heard it all, but then I get really upset and make up something new, bwahaha

      KAK – I like to consider myself an equal opportunity curser. I use German, French, Spanish, and of course, my favorite English swear words and phrases (and by English, yes, I use “bloody”, “shite”, “git”, “bint”, etc.) with great enthusiasm. I played on a British run MUD for 11 years and for a while there, I was using words I didn’t even know what they meant

      • We can turn anything into a swear word, given half the chance 🐱

        Go Team England! 😀

      • As much as I admire and salivate over the British Empire…GO USA (cause they’re my boys…sort of…not that I have a chance to watch the games, but it’s the principle of the thing)

      • Oh no, I’m simply referring to our swearing. F*** soccer. F*** soccer right in the arse.

        C*nting sh*t game played by bellends and woofters 🐱

  5. We don’t want you to change for any of us!!!

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