I’m kind of sitting here staring into space. I can’t think of anything entertaining or interesting to say other than…I can’t believe it’s already the end of April. My time of rest is almost at an end *sigh*. May is going to be non-stop.
On top of all the family things I have coming up, I also have two contest results due in May. To be honest, I’m not terribly worried about them. I enter contests with the vague idea that someone might like what I wrote and give me good feedback, but if they don’t that’s okay too. The pessimist in me won’t let me become too hopeful, which is probably a good thing because I’m rarely deeply disappointed.
Oh sure, I set impossibly high goals for myself, but I do it to myself. It’s when other people set goals for me that I don’t get disappointed. Does that make sense? I expect a lot of myself. I expect to do well in my job, expect to take care of my mom, expect that I’ll get published eventually. But when other people say “Oh you’re going to do so well, blah blah blah” I’m kind of like…yeah okay. Because their dreams for me aren’t mine, I’m not invested in them.
I might be making a total mess of explaining, but the basic idea is I entered those contests wanting honest feedback. If someone hates what I’ve written, I want to know why. What was wrong with it? Did they hate the character, the concept, my writing style? That’s what contests are for me. A way to test my writing against professionals and other unpublished writers. So, I’ll be waiting, not with my breath held, but curiously for those results.
In other news…well, there isn’t other news, lol. It was a tame weekend and I’m very tired today. I need something to give me a boost. Maybe even a song…hm, how about this: