What Makes a Hero

I love men. I’m the kind of woman who is more comfortable with them, than I am with women. Growing up, most of my friends were boys (in middle school through high school) and men in college. I did have female friends, but they weren’t as numerous. That hasn’t changed for me today. In this digital age, I’ve wracked up a lot of online friends, most of whom are male. No, we don’t cyber! Sheesh. We’re friends. We learn from each other about the opposite sex. I help them try to understand women, they help me try to understand men. It’s a nice arrangement.

In this quest to ‘understand the opposite sex’ I was asked by an online friend, what makes a hero. I was completely flummoxed. What does make a hero? Is it his manly chest? His take charge nature? I think it’s different for every woman. When we picture our ‘perfect male’, he doesn’t look like Brad Pitt or Vin Diesel (gr-owl!), or at least, for me he doesn’t.

My ideal male is, of course physically fit, or close to. I like a man with a little upholstery. He’s taller than me (which isn’t too hard, being 5’4″). Eye color and hair color isn’t as much of a deal. I like it all. But though I love to ogle beautiful men (one day I’ll talk about a vendor who came to my office), I like their personalities. I like how some men are take charge, while others are totally go-with-the-flow and laid back. I enjoy how they pick on each other and I’m sorry, but there’s just something about watching a big, strong man giggle helplessly that makes me go ‘aw’. I know several guys who aren’t in the least bit feminine, but when they really laugh, it’s with almost schoolgirl giggles.

If you want to bring a tear to my eye, show me a man who has to deal with an unexpected emotional display and I get teary. Case in point? I watch ‘Deadliest Catch’ faithfully. I’ve been a fan for years. My favorite boat is the Northwestern. A couple of weeks ago, the sister to one of the deckhands died and the captain (Sig) and deckhand Nick, had to break the news. I felt horrible for the deckhand whose sister died, but it was Sig and Nick who made me cry. You could just how uncomfortable they were, but because they’re ‘a family’, they dealt with the emotionally sticky situation as best they could. I adored it and in that moment, I thought Sig was the cutest captain in the fleet. (I revised my opinion after he manipulated a clock, but that’s an entirely different story.) Whether we want to admit it or not, we women are drawn to vulnerability and how men react to it.

Does that mean we want a man who cries? I don’t know. I don’t like to see a man cry, it breaks my heart. Do I want a man who sits down and asks me what I’m feeling? No, not really. To be honest, I don’t know what I’m feeling all the time. I have female friends who want to share their feelings and I feel completely unprepared for it. Must be the tomboy upbringing I had because I get confused talking to some of my female friends.

Our heroes, when we write them, are most likely a hodgepodge of men we’ve met throughout our lives. The brainy boy in high school who was cute with those coke-bottle glasses. The jock who still managed to be nice even though he was the most popular guy in school. The punk (skate rat back in my day) who had a shy smile and beautiful eyes. At least that’s my take on it 🙂

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